Forever and a day...she waited

...of picking you up to the highest highs some days, and then dumping you to the lowest lows on other days.

Isn't it weird how it works like that?

Why can't my boyfriend be like some of his mates? I know he has to be away a lot, that I can deal with... 

BUT (and this is a big but), when I hear stories about what some of his friends do for their girlfriends, I can't help but think he's broken.

One of his friends has a girlfriend who works for another airline, so they both are away a lot. When they are both in town they go on amazing dates and spend real quality time together. I am always hearing about what they do on their days off and it sounds wonderful. I want to go on a romantic picnic in the park like they did the other week.

MY boyfriend however, is always 'too tired' to make any kind of effort.

That would be ok except he just told the story last night of one of his mates who moved down to Sydney recently from a Brisbane base to do his command. This guy is studying hours a day as well as flying and yet he is still flying back up to Queensland this weekend (right before he starts full on training so is majorly stressed) to cook his girlfriend a surprise meal for when she finishes work... apparently she is doing teaching all day and deserves to be spoiled.

My boyfriend's comment? "What on earth does he want to do that for?"

Ummm... because he obviously thinks she's very special and wants to do nice things for her?


Honestly, sometimes I think that if I fell off the face of the earth tomorrow, Rob would hardly notice.  

If Mark and Jason weren't already taken with fabulous girlfriends, I would be tempted to switch ... yes I know I'm completely ignoring the fact that if they were single, I wouldn't be watching and hearing about what they're doing and I wouldn't be able to make the comparison (rants don't have to be logical!). I'm also ignoring the fact that there are probably a lot of other pilot types just like Rob who make no effort.

Anyway, I just wish Rob would go out of his way, just once, to make me feel special. 

Is that really too much to ask?

I've been seeing a boy for a while now and he's an airline pilot so he's away a lot. At first I was ok with that because I do like my alone time. But lately I feel like he's been getting more distant. I'm starting to wonder what on earth is going on and if he may be cheating on me?

I'm trying not to cling but this is really starting to stress me out. I've had this happen before, when all of a sudden the person you are seeing just seems to start pulling away and acting all distant. It's never ended well when that happens and I'm scared it's happening again.

I want to just walk away but I'm not ready to. I'm not sure if I should pull away as well and hope he comes back to me a bit or if I should ask him straight out what's wrong.

Will I be able to take the answer? Am I ready for that?

I hate this sinking feeling. I'm stressed, distressed, sad, angry and confused all at the same time.

Why does this happen to me?

I am in such a good mood! ... and I have no idea why! LOL

Work still sucks. I still have issues with my man and trying to handle the fact that he is away so much because he is an airline pilot and flys all over the country...


BUT, I seem to be having a great day! Is it because my cat is being extra cute this evening? Is it because my new vitamins seem to be giving me so much more energy? Is it because one of my friends showed that they cared this morning? Is it because my house is clean and tidy and I feel just slightly more organised for it?

Whatever it is, I hope it continues into tomorrow!

Bye for now

Dating pilots? Not so fun sometimes. *sigh*

I'm going to blame darkdevotchka  for that one with all the talk about 'The One' last week... LOL! (Hi my name is Alicia, and I like to blame others for my issues).

I've had 2 relationships since, one that is current even. But I still wonder about him a lot. I wish there was a way I could find out what he is up to without calling. I feel like I have a need to know.

I'd like to see him. Show him that I'm fine (maybe even show him what he passed up when he left me... HEY I AM A WOMAN!). I feel restless and antsy. 

Do you ever wish you could just put these ones right out of your head and erase them altogether? Or do you wish you could get the upper hand and have them begging you to come back while you just feel nothing and you're all fabulous?

Gah! I need to get over this! It's been 2 years!